Life in the TARDIS
by AnotherRandomWhovian
Summary: Several fun little 'slices of life' from the point of view of The Doctor's companion. No actual companions used, just OCs (feel free to use them if you want). Chapters may not necessarily be in order. At all. Ever. When you think about it, life in the TARDIS is seldom straightforward, anyway!
1. Monty Python

The Tenth Doctor and Adalia

~oOo~

As Adalia walked into the TARDIS for the first time (again...long story), she was both awestruck and comfortable, like walking into your house after a long day at work.

The Doctor stepped up behind her. "Pretty amazing, isn't she? walking through those doors, it never gets old."

She smiled. "Yeah. You know, this reminds me of something. All of this...you remind me of something."

"Oh? And just what would that be?" He asked.

"Monty Python's 'The Meaning Of Life'."

His eyebrows shot up. "What? The one with the accountant pirates and the fish and the topless women on rollerblades? How does THAT remind you of me and my TARDIS?!"

She had to bite her lip to contain her laughter. "No, No! I mean the song at the end. About the universe. I think that song was pretty much the actual point within all the nonsense. The 'meaning of life' as it were."

The Doctor scratched behind his ear, looking quite confused. "Funny, I don't remember that part."

"I thought you knew everything!" Adalia cheered mockingly.

"I haven't memorized everything in the entire universe yet, I had Monday off! Perhaps if you could sing a few bars?"

"Alright, but remember, **_you asked for it_**.", She warned.

Adalia began singing, quite pitchy at first, but she soon corrected herself...

"Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving, revolving at nine hundred miles an hour;  
that's orbiting at ninety miles a second, so it's reckoned, a sun that is the source of all our power.  
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see are moving at a million miles a daaaaaaaay,  
in an outer spiral arm at forty thousand miles an hour, in a galaxy we call the Milky Way."

The Doctor then joined in, and began swaying with the tune.

"Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars, it's a hundred thousand light-years side to side;  
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light-years thick, but out by us it's just three thousand light-years wide.  
We're thirty thousand light-years from galactic central point, we go 'round every two hundred million yeaaaaaaars;  
And this galaxy is one of only millions of billions in this amazing and expanding universe."

The Doctor held up a finger to stop her singing, and quickly interjected, "You know, the earth actually orbits the sun closer to sixty six thousand miles per hour. For that matter, the distance from your solar system to the center of the Milky Way is closer to twenty six thousand light-years. And-"  
He was interrupted by a smack on the arm and a nose-crinkling smile.

"Ey! I thought you said you had Monday off!"

"Only part of Monday." he replied jovially.

"Care to sing the next bit then, Mister Part-Of-Monday-Off?"

"I'd be delighted, Adalia!"

"The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, in all of the directions it can whizz;  
As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know, 11.1 million miles a minute (and that's the fastest speed there is)..._Well-_"

She glared at him. "Seriously, now, Doctor. Enough of that. That's not how it goes."

"I was just making a few...corrections." His words were met with the same steely 'I've had enough of this crap now get on with it' gaze from his companion.

"Fine. Stay scientifically stuck in the 1980s, for all I care. Your loss.

*ah-he-he-hmmm*  
-As fast as it can go, the speed of light you know, 12 million miles a minute (and that's the fastest speed there is);  
So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure how amazingly unlikely is your biiiiiirrth,"

"AND PRAY THAT THERE'S INTELLIGENT LIFE SOMEWHERE UP IN SPACE, 'CAUSE THERE'S BUGGER-ALL DOWN HERE ON EARRRRTTHHH!"

They both screeched the last bit, stumbling almost drunkenly and falling on the floor, the sounds of their caterwauling and laughter echoing about the TARDIS.

~oOo~


	2. Lady Chatterly

The Eighth Doctor and Beverly

~oOo~

Beverly had been in the library of the TARDIS for quite some time now. It was her favorite place to relax, with beautiful Victorian decor and endless walls of bookshelves. Not surprising, that a proper gentlemanly time-traveling alien like the Doctor would have such an astounding library. She went from shelf to shelf, thoroughly scanning them for anything of interest, and piling the multitude of books she had selected onto a table for later reading.

Beverly was currently sitting awkwardly in a chair in the far corner of the library, hoping to God that the Doctor wouldn't come in. She was startled out of her reading by the door opening.

Speak of the devil...

The Doctor strolled into the library, sitting himself down in the chair right next to Beverly's.

"Ah, Beverly! I was wondering where you went. That book you're reading, is it any good?" he asked.

She blinked, and looked up, trying to hide the cover of the book in her skirt. "I suppose so, yes."

"Ah, can I see? I've been trying to find something good to read, but lately I haven't had much luck."

He reached over to get the book out of her lap, but she shouted "no!" and pulled it away quickly, leaving the Doctor with a puzzled look on his face.

"What's gotten into you, Beverly?"

She realized just how silly she was acting, and when he reached for the book again, she gave it to him willingly.

His eyebrows raised upon seeing the cover. "Lady Chatterly's Lover? Never thought you'd be one for romance novels, Beverly."

She blushed furiously and snatched the book out of his hands.

He chuckled. "What? Just because this book is banned in your time period for being 'racy' doesn't mean that you're banned from reading it now! If you were, why would the book be in the library at all? Besides, I've walked in on people reading _far _worse than 'Lady Chatterly's Lover' in the TARDIS."

A thought popped into her head. "Have YOU read it, Doctor? After all, it is _your_ library."

"That is none of your business!" He said, mock-indignantly.

"So does that mean you have?"

The Doctor stood up and walked out of the room. She stared at the door, looking rather befuddled.

Three seconds later he stuck his head back in the doorway and said very seriously, but with a smile across his face, "Wait 'til you get to chapter ten!"

Beverly laughed and returned to her reading.

~oOo~


End file.
